Men in the Arena - Relationships Bring Happiness

My dad works for a company called Arena Energy.  Don't quote me on this one, but I'm pretty sure the "Arena" idea came from a excerpt of a speech Theodore Roosevelt gave in Paris, France on February 23, 1910.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

With the same premise in mind, I created an after-school club at my school (boys only) called "Men in the Arena".  We meet weekly, discuss character, talk about being a man, and encourage actually being in the arena vs. being one of those critics ("cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat").

Today was our last meeting and I wanted to share with all of you what I shared with the boys.  It comes from one of my favorite sermons (The Good Samaritan) from one of my favorite teachers of all time (Jack Arrington, former long-time pastor of Tomball Bible Church).

An article in the Atlantic Monthly that talked about a study done at Harvard University.  The study posed the question, "How do you have a successful life?"  As you can imagine, Harvard threw its money and brainpower behind it.  For over seven decades a team of doctors, sociologists, anthropologists, psychologists, and psychiatrists at Harvard studied a group of 268 sophomores that were at Harvard in the 1930's and it carried them for the next 72 years in the study.  We're talking about an incredibly intense, scientific, major study of 268 of the brightest and the best, asking the question, "What makes for a successful life?"  The variety of outcomes in these brilliant young men's lives shows that the answer isn't all that easy.  They began in the 1930's, they tracked them through war, their career, through marriages and divorces, through parenthood and grandparenthood and into old age.  They found that a third of those men studied had at least one bout of mental illness.  Of these 268 Harvard men, alcoholism was a rampant problem and it seemed like some of the dullest, most mundane individuals, actually turned out to have the most successful lives.  And they tried to quantify this scientifically and say, what is going on here?  And after all this time and money and effort, they came up with this brilliant conclusion:  Relationships bring happiness.  72 years. . . Harvard scholars. . . Relationships bring happiness.  But of course, its not just any kind of relationship - good relationships bring happiness.

I then told the boys from this point forward they will be faced with situations that will encourage sacrificing key relationships for lesser joys.  Here are some of the temptations I talked about- see if you can relate to any of these:

1. Athletics - how many of you have lost friendships because of your competitiveness and commitment to be "the best"?  Better yet, how many friendships have you sacrificed because you didn't care who you stepped on to climb to the top, in athletics, or even now in your career?
2. Girls - how many of you sacrificed relationships with "your boyz" because you were smitten with some girl?  How many of you spent every waking moment with your new "love interest" that you lost all contact with your true friends?
3. Cool - how many of you sacrificed genuine relationships and traded them in for superficial acquaintances because you wanted to be cool?

At some point in college I realized I had little to show for my exploits in grade school.  I had bad ankles (soccer), I had wasted a ton of money, time and emotions (girl), and I had sacrificed genuine friendships to have a multitude of "friends"(cool).

If you are like me, you may find yourself reflecting and maybe even regretting some of your past - but I challenge you to think about your present.  Answer these questions:

1. Are you currently investing in relationships, I mean really investing in relationships?  
2. With whom and for what reasons have you forged relationships?
3. Have you sacrificed relationships for lesser joys?  If so, do you need to get back in touch with those friends?

I just recently reconnected with a good friend from college that I hadn't seen in ten years.  Hanging out with this dude just reiterates the aforementioned brilliant conclusion:  Good relationships bring happiness.